FISH

I ate fish tonight for the first time since I was probably seven. HOLY COW; this is a big deal. I used to have two hard and fast rules I'd give anyone who asked the question, 'where do you want to eat.' "I don't eat things from Asia, and I don't eat things that come from the ocean." Ruling out food that comes from about 80% of the earth? Ya, I was a picky child (who grew into a picky adult with a fast food addiction.) In the past few years, I have (thankfully) gotten over my "Asia" rule. In fact, some of my most favorite things to eat now are fresh noodllie stir-fries. The Ocean rule is another story though.

Fish is the one meal I can distinctly remember being traumatized by as a child. Wait. I take that back. Fish and meatloaf. Ughh, I shutter at the very word. I will never vanquish my disdain for that retched excuse for a meal. But back to the seafood. Like I said, I was a picking little girl, so my parents often had to pull the "eat one more bite" card. When in came to fish (and ML) though, I just couldn't do it. I wasn't even trying to be fickle or spoiled; I literally could not will it down my throat. I swear I remember one night (though my mom says she never did this...) when I was not allowed up from the table until I ate my fish. I sat there and sat there and I cried. My parents thought I was just throwing a fit, so they wouldn't budge. Looking back, I can't blame them. If I thought my kid was just being a baby, I would probably have done the same thing. But oh, that fish. The terror was real to me. I don't know for sure how that standoff ended up, but I'm pretty sure I finally ate a couple more bites and they let me get up from the table only to go straight to bed. I have never eaten fish of my own volition since I was a child. Until tonight.

I decided to try a recipe for fish tacos from a great healthy eating cookbook I have. The picture looked quite delicious, and I figured maybe the actual fish would be hidden by the flavors or the tortilla, salsa and avocado. I got some mahi-mahi from the market this evening, and I have to admit, when he handed me the little package wrapped in brown paper, I felt somehow more cultured. Haha. Pushing my cart around the rest of the store though, I was highly aware of this taboo item I had willingly given entrance into my basket. I could almost see the fishy juices and smells seeping out and contaminating all my other delicious foods, and almost chickened out then and there! But I pressed on and was actually really excited to try it out.

You see, I so want to be one of those people who love fish; who eat in multiple times a week and pick up different species like it's no big thing. Everything I've read talks about how good fish is in the diet. How even ancient mountainous civilizations would travel far distances to trade for fish. So, I made a chili-lime spice rub and grilled the mahi-mahi on my George Foreman. I also made a fresh, crisp cabbage slaw to go with it. It looked great off the grill...flaked perfectly and the rub smelled delectable. The taco looked just as beautiful as the one in my recipe book.

But...(you were hoping there wasn't going to be a "but" right?) I did not fall in love.

Notice my word usage here though, because it is important. I did not type, "I hated it." So, maybe that's a start? I really don't know what it is. The first couple bites, I was even thinking, "this is good," but I ate half and just couldn't continue. While it was in my mouth, I was thinking, everything about this should be delicious! I understand the individual flavors enough to know that by all means, I should be loving what I am eating right now. I even liked the texture of the mahi-mahi. But it was still fish. Maybe the majority of my dislike is a mental thing; I can admit to that possibility. I just couldn't get over the thought of what was in my mouth. And it also tasted pretty salty which just made me think of the ocean and the fish being marinated in sea water and....BLEH! There you have my melt down.

Sadly, my beautiful meal (which was actually a lot of fun to make...a lot of great ingredients) didn't get to fulfill its destiny. But it's in the fridge and hopefully my mom will enjoy it tomorrow. Like I said, the actual recipe was good, it was just the fish itself I didn't really like. If you are interested in the recipe, I'll post it here.

My story of tonight ends with my making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, which I also have not had since I have no clue when. It may have been truly the best PB&J I have ever had in my life. Wheat bread (new for me) and an organic, no-crazy-stuff-added strawberry jam I just bought. Oh beautiful blessed sandwich! That with a cup of hot green tea, and I am currently ridiculously satisfied.

I will try again with fish. I'm not going to give up yet. You all will be the first to know my next sea-faring adventure.